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My Life

 

Bob Jones ......... Michael Keaton

Gail Jones ........ Nicole Kidman

Paul .............. Bradley Whitford

Theresa ........... Queen Latifah

Bill .............. Michael Constantine

Rose .............. Rebecca Schull

Dr. Mills ......... Mark Lowenthal

        Columbia presents a film written and directed by Bruce Joel Rubin. Produced by Jerry Zucker, Rubin and Hunt Lowry. Photographed by Peter James. Edited by Richard Chew. Music by John Barry. Running time: 112 minutes. Classified: PG-13 (for mature subject matter).

            A film like this can teach us a lot about modern attitudes toward religion, for it deals with death and dying, perhaps the one area where even modern people still think seriously.

            Bob Jones, born in Detroit as Bob Ivanovich, is dying of cancer while his wife is expecting his first son. The film's resident theologian, a Chinese folk healer, diagnoses the underlying problem as repressed anger. Indeed, Bob has been angry at his father since boyhood, because his father spent so little time with him. The father was a dealer in scrap metal, which Bob thinks should be described more honestly as "junk." Bob hated Detroit and the junk business. He left for Los Angeles at the first opportunity and became a public relations man. (Did the authors of the script see an analogy between Hollywood public relations experts and junk dealers?) He became successful, but had few real friends. In an embarrassing search for testimonials, he finds no one who can say anything much on his behalf beyond commending his business prowess and charitable contributions. Even his wife Gail, who deeply loves him, complains about being left out of his struggles. Evidently his anger has kept him from any deep human relationships.

            He also, evidently, is angry at God. As a boy, he once prayed that God would bring a circus to his back yard after school. (His father had promised to take him to the circus, but had failed to do so because of the press of work.) The film overwhelms us with the earnest sincerity of the prayer. He invites all his classmates to see the wonderful circus. But there is no circus; the kids must all be sent home. Both earthly father and heavenly father have let Bob down, the film implies.

            So Bob is estranged from God and men, and the disease is progressing. Until the very end of the movie, he looks perfectly healthy for the most part-- a rather awkward element in the film's portrayal. But Bob's mind is preoccupied by his fate and by the future. At first, this preoccupation actually increases his estrangement from the world. So determined is he to keep a record of his last days for his yet-unborn son that he sees the entire world through a video camera. He is a spectator, not a participant. It is as if he has died already and sees the world from some ghostly realm outside it.

            But he does change. He visits Detroit again for his brother's wedding, and he actually lays aside the video camera to join his brother in some ethnic dances. (At the beginning of the movie, I would have guessed the family was Jewish, but they turn out to be Ukrainian.) Still, the old hatreds resurface when he talks to his parents. They condemn his disrespect: that he left his family, that he changed the family name, that he hardly ever called them. He in turn raises all of his old complaints.

            The Chinese healer ministers to him. Orthodox medicine cannot help, but clearly this healer has powers beyond the standard treatments. He has healed others, and he keeps Bob going far beyond the expected time of his death, so that he does meet his new son. The healer's hands put Bob in touch with his inner self, which, we learn, is the source of wholeness. Bob has a vision of the great light which is this transcendental ego. But the anger-generated tumors grow too fast even for the Chinese healer, who advises Bob to prepare for the next life, reincarnation.

            The film reinforces the reincarnation theme as Bob's death-watch parallels Gail's pregnancy and childbirth. In both cases, ice cubes are wiped across the lips, breathing is labored and disciplined, and the end is a release into joyous abandon.

            Everyone is reconciled after a fashion. The parents come to Los Angeles. Bob sort of apologizes for his unkindness to them, but it's a Hollywood type of apology: he says in effect that the whole thing is really nobody's fault; such problems just happen and nobody's to blame. Thus estrangement is dissolved in moral relativism and Bob is set free to be reincarnated. Is he also reconciled to God? Not in any obvious way. God plays no role in the New Age theology which informs Bob's last days. In a morally relativist universe, there is no God to be reconciled to.

            The film lingers over his dying for a longer time than I was comfortable with; perhaps it intended to. I guess that I was supposed to find Bob's death a triumphant experience, but I did not. If the film is right, and reality is an impersonal process without moral distinctions, then neither death nor life offer any hope.